I will admit that the first few years as a fan of the Backstreet Boys I could have probably fit the teeny bopper label close to perfect. When ‘Black & Blue’ was released and along with that, a tour; wow, I realized, a third album and I’m still hungry for their music, their sound completes me — well, at least the musical part in me. I paid even more attention to their voices, their music, their lyrics, it went beyond the surface.

And then AJ went into rehab, completely unexpected (for me anyway). I might even have the clipping of when I first read that article about him being admitted … I remember the moment. Sure, parents might have thought that back then it was only an obsession, I don’t blame them. It’s grown into a deep sincere love and appreciation for this group of guys I have no real affiliation with. Weird, right? Sure. Anyway, I was completely ‘shattered’ (see what I did there?) when I read about AJ — I worried (yeah, I know), I wondered if this was the end (phew! there is no end), I participated in so many ‘Get Well AJ’ projects (only fans will ever understand), and most of all I listened to ‘Black & Blue’ repeatedly while I hoped for AJ to get well. But, I don’t know why I was so drawn to ‘Shape Of My Heart’ — I sometimes felt that AJ’s voice took over that song, maybe that’s why. And at that time all I could think about really, when it came to BSB, was AJ. My point being that ever since then I always think of AJ and of that time when the media buzzed about it, tour was stopped, the Boys stepped out to say their peace, fans seemed to go a bit crazy. But I realized that I was waiting for AJ to get better, I wasn’t going to stop being a fan because one of them was battling a horrible addiction; I was going to hang around and support. I didn’t realize it then but I think that was the moment when I went above and beyond a “normal” fan — I went from lovingly obsessed to truly loving this one band for all they’re worth, beyond the fame, success in music, and yes, cuteness that was their faces. 

‘Shape Of My Heart’ always got me right here *taps over heart*. The entire album could be connected to that time in AJs struggle but that song just does it for me. Am I the only one? I guess I can get corny that way when it comes to the Boys. To each their own…

As always, KTBSPA